


Hamilfam and the wild Lin

by JustAcePlaying



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Hamilton reacts to Hamilton, Hamilton reacts to the Internet, Tbh just some random lines of speech between lyrics, more tags will be added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-04-28 08:11:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14445036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAcePlaying/pseuds/JustAcePlaying
Summary: Another Hamilton reacts to Hamilton fanfic.





	1. Introductions

Ian is in a room, a theatre to be more exact. He concentrates on one of his thoughts, a ball of people falling down from a significant height. Several groans of pain can be heard from the cluster, a few swears mixed in between multiple languages and accents. 

"Goddamnit Jefferson get your fucking arm out of my ribs!" "Son, language!" "Mon dieu! What just happened?" "Mom? Dad?" 

After a few moments everyone gets unstuck from each-other, looking around the room trying to figure out where the hell they are.

"Welcome!" Ian cheerfully exclaims, walking up to the group. "I suppose I should explain why y'all are in here today!" He towers out over some of the people there, matching Washington in height.

"Who are you, why are we here, what is this, and- PHILIP!" Hamilton sprints over to his son, tackling him to the floor in a hug.

Ian snorts. "My name is Ian, or The Author if you prefer. You are here because of the man killing his son over there," He points at the Hamiltons. "This is a theatre, we are watching a musical, and the year is 2018."

He snaps his fingers, everyone appearing in their own seats. The people present are: Alexander, Eliza, the Hamilsquad, Whore gay Washingmachine, Jefferson, Madison, King george III, Eacker, Philip, Angelica, Peggy, Maria, Burr, Samuel, Lee, and Hamiltons mom.

"Now that you are all seated, let the show begin."


	2. Alexander Hamilton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's get this party started!

Act one.

**How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore**

Ian grins, whistling as Burr walks on stage on the screen. "Is that me?" Burr asks, quite confused by the fact that he is played by a man of colour. "Yes, now shut up." Ian replies, throwing some popcorn at his head.

**And a Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot in the Caribbean by providence impoverished,**   
**In squalor, grow up to be a hero and a scholar?**

Alex frowns, looking down at the mention of the Carribean and his parents. His mother puts her hand on his back, smiling at him. "You did well, my son."

**The ten-dollar founding father without a father**   
**Got a lot farther by working a lot harder**   
**By being a lot smarter By being a self-starter**   
**By fourteen, they placed him in charge of a trading charter**

"At fourteen?!" Half of the people there gasp, staring at Alex.

**And every day while slaves were being slaughtered and carted away**   
**Across the waves, he struggled and kept his guard up**   
**Inside, he was longing for something to be a part of**   
**The brother was ready to beg, steal, borrow, or barter**   
**Then a hurricane came, and devastation reigned**

Ian glances at Alexander, walking over a few seats to sit down next to him. "Are you okay?" He whispers, Alex giving a slight nod back.

**Our man saw his future drip, dripping down the drain**   
**Put a pencil to his temple, connected it to his brain**   
**And he wrote his first refrain, a testament to his pain**   
**Well, the word got around, they said, this kid is insane, man**

"Yes he is!" His friends, Burr and Jefferson exclaim at the same time.

**Took up a collection just to send him to the mainland  
Get your education, don’t forget from whence you came   
And the world is gonna know your name  
What’s your name, man?  
Alexander Hamilton**

Ian claps, yelling it out at the same time as the actor Alexander does.

**My name is Alexander Hamilton  
And there’s a million things I haven’t done  
But just you wait, just you wait  
When he was ten his father split, full of it, debt-ridden  
Two years later, see Alex and his mother bed-ridden  
Half-dead sittin' in their own sick, the scent thick**

Alex' mother pulls Alex close, running her hand through his hair in a calming gesture.

**And Alex got better but his mother went quick  
Moved in with a cousin, the cousin committed suicide**

"Can everyone just FUCKING STOP DYING!" Ian exclaims, throwing the closest thing near him at the screen, which happens to be a bag of popcorn.

**Left him with nothin' but ruined pride, something new inside voice saying  
Alex, you gotta fend for yourself**

Alex nods, agreeing with the lyrics.

**He started retreatin' and readin' every treatise on the shelf  
There would have been nothin' left to do for someone less astute  
He woulda been dead or destitute without a cent of restitution  
Started workin', clerkin' for his late mother’s landlord  
Tradin' sugar cane and rum and all the things he can’t afford  
Scammin' for every book he can get his hands on**

"Isn't that illegal, Hamilton?" Jefferson mutters, earning a slap from Ian.

**Plannin' for the future see him now as he stands on the bow of a ship headed for a new land  
In New York you can be a new man  
In New York you can be a new man  
In New York you can be a new man   
In New York you can be a new man  
In New York you can be a new man**

"And he was, and still is!" The schuyler sisters state, smiling at a blushing Alexander.

**Just you wait  
Alexander Hamilton  
We are waiting in the wings for you  
You could never back down  
You never learned to take your time**

Ian mutters something under his breath about 'foreshadowing', Burr looking up alarmed at this.

**Oh, Alexander Hamilton  
When America sings for you  
Will they know what you overcame?  
Will they know you rewrote your game?  
The world will never be the same, oh  
The ship is in the harbor now  
See if you can spot him**

"How could you not?" Jefferson jokes, Ian walking over and slapping him again.

**Another immigrant comin' up from the bottom  
His enemies destroyed his rep, America forgot him**

"Then how did they make this musical?" Burr mutters. "Because of Eliza." Ian replies, smiling at said sister.

**We fought with him**

"Where am I?" John exclaims, throwing his hands up.

**Me, I died for him**

"NO, PHILIP, JOHN." Ian screams, before sitting back down.

**Me, I trusted him**

"And I still do, son." Washington pats hamilton on the back. "'M not your son..." he mutters back.

**Me, I loved him**

Everone stares at Angelica, until Ian glares them all back down.

**And me? I’m the damn fool that shot him**

"WHAT?!" "BURR SHOT ME?!" "MISTER BURR!" Everyone is screaming at Burr, who looks like he wants to be able to fade away at this point. Ian walks over to him, pulling him into a hug before sitting down, Burr still in his arms.

**There’s a million things I haven’t done  
But just you wait  
What’s your name, man?  
Alexander Hamilton**


	3. Aaron Burr, SIR!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To be honest, I'm terrible at writing. I hope you at least enjoy this bullshit story!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there

"EVERYONE SIT DOWN, AND SHUT UP, LET ME EXPLAIN!" Ian exclaims, waiting for everyone to go back to their seats. "Yes, Burr would have shot Alexander, if it were not for the fact that you are from an alternate reality." He continues before anyone can ask. "Everything here went the same as in your universe, the only thing being different that in your universe, Hamilton didn't do... certain things... and so he was the second president." "Then what happened in this universe?" Madison questions, for the first time that hour. "That's for me to know, and for you to find out." King is sitting in the back enjoying the show.

 

The first notes of the next song start, everyone quickly shutting up.

 

**Seventeen seventy-six**

 

Burr groans, putting his head into his hands. Ian pats him on the back, already having heard the song.

 

**New York City**

**Pardon me, are you Aaron Burr, sir?**

 

"aaroN BURR, SIR!"

 

**That depends, who’s asking?**

 

"How does your identity depend on who's asking?" "You should've said no when you had the chance." Madison and Ian say at same time, the two sentences merging into something sounding like: "How does said no identity you had on who's chance asking?"

 

**Oh, sure, sir**

**I’m Alexander Hamilton, I’m at your service, sir**

 

"Bitch since when?" Ian snorts.

 

**I have been looking for you**

**I’m getting nervous**

 

"You should be." Jefferson mumbles, glancing over at Ian, scared to be slapped. Again.

 

**Sir, I heard your name at Princeton**

**I was seeking an accelerated course of study**

 

"Yeah but you couldn't, because Jimmy Jemmy James broke down when he tried!" ... "How did you get that information?" "The Internet." "What is- nevermind."

 

**When I got sort of out of sorts with a buddy of yours**

**I may have punched him it’s a blur, sir**

**He handles the financials?**

 

"Me." Ian states. "Have you punched the bursar too?" "Nope, but I have punched someone so hard they went down." Everyone except for Washingmachine and George three shuffle away from him.

 

**You punched the bursar?**

**Yes, I wanted to do what you did**

**Graduate in two, then join the revolution he looked at me like I was stupid I’m not stupid**

 

"You are." It was so quiet that nobody knows who said it.

 

**So how’d you do it, how’d you graduate so fast?**

**It was my parent's dying wish before they passed**

**You're an orphan, of course I’m an orphan**

**God, I wish there was a war**

 

"There will be in about three songs, don't worry about that."

 

**Then we could prove that we’re worth more than anyone bargained for**

**Can I buy you a drink?**

 

"Don't, he is already drunk." "Hey!" Alexander shoots back, ego hurt.

 

**That would be nice**

**While we’re talking, let me offer you some free advice**

**Talk less**

 

"Everyone who knows me, probably." Ian mutters.

 

**What?**

**Smile more**

 

"No, fuck you Burr."

 

**Ha**

 

Everyone laughs, Washington chuckling. "Burr just got 'ha'd'!"

 

**Don’t let them know what you're against or what you're for**

 

"And this, people, is why we need feminism." ... "What is feminism, and what does it have to do with this?" Jefferson questions. "I'll tell you later."

 

**You can't be serious**

**You wanna get ahead?**

**Yes**

**Fools who run their mouths off wind up dead**

 

"Seems accurate, does this mean we can kill Trump?" No one questions what he means anymore.

 

**Yo yo yo yo yo**

**What time is it?**

**Show time**

**Like I said**

 

"Foreshadowing: the sequel." Burr looked up at him again, what did ending up dead have to do with Laurens?

 

**Show time, show time**

**Yo, I’m John Lauren's in the place to be**

**Two pints o’ Sam Adams, but I’m workin' on three, uh**

**Those redcoats don’t want it with me**

**'Cause I will pop chick-a pop these cops till I’m free**

 

"... Pop chick-a-pop?" "Basically, murdering." "Ah."

 

**Oui oui, mon ami, je m’appelle Lafayette**

**The Lancelot of the revolutionary set**

**I came from afar just to say bonsoir**

**Tell the king casse-toi**

 

Everyone who know French in the room laugh, Lafayette turning red. "What? What did he say to me?" George three questions. "Noth- Nothing!" Ian stutters between giggles.

 

**Who’s the best, c’est moi**

**Brrrah, brraaah I am Hercules Mulligan**

**Up in it, lovin' it, yes I heard ya mother said come again**

 

"My mother is dead." "Same." "Mine too." Ian, Lafayette, and Burr deadpan. Alex' mother hugs her son closer.

 

**Ay, lock up ya daughters and horses, of course**

**It’s hard to have intercourse over four sets of corsets (wow)**

 

"Ah yes, Jim. I'll take who has Mulligan had sex with for a hundred."

 

**No more sex, pour me another brew, son**

 

"And then his bi-fi picked up Alex." "What is a 'Bi-fi'?" "Shhhh."

 

**Let’s raise a couple more to the revolution**

**Well, if it ain’t the prodigy of Princeton college**

**Aaron Burr**

**Give us a verse, drop some knowledge**

 

"I don't need friends, they disappoint me." Ian imitates Burr, said man looking up offended.

 

**Good luck with that, you’re takin' a stand**

**You spit, I’m 'a sit**

**We’ll see where we land (boo)**

 

"That was a shitty rap, Burr."

 

**Burr, the revolution’s imminent, what do you stall for?**

**If you stand for nothing Burr, what’ll you fall for?**

 

"He's quoting someone." Madison notices, blushing as everyone turns to look at him.

 

**Oh, who are you oh, who are you oh, who are you?**

**Oh, who is this kid, what’s he gonna do?**

 

"Jim, I'll take 'Who will Hamilton screw' for sixty-nine." Laurens tries to imitate the joke Ian hade made earlier. "That's easy: Laurens, Maria, Eliza, Angelica." Ian replies smoothly. "I didn't- no!" Hamilton defends himself. "I know, different universe, remember?"

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To clear things up about their universe:
> 
> -Laurens didn't die  
> -Hamilton didn't have an affair  
> -Washington lived longer  
> -Jefferson and Hamilton are 'friends'  
> -Burr didn't shoot Ham


End file.
